Just Peachy

 It's beginning to look a lot like spring, with flowers coming home every week -- the perks of knowing the florist at our local greenhouse I guess ;)

This is the first Saturday morning that I am feeling genuinely refreshed! Such a relief from being literally a walking zombie in the mornings. I was sick last week which sucked. The week before I went to a work thing in the city and had to get up at 7, let alone having a horrible sleep in the hotel beds -- as you do. 

It's beginning to look like spring outside as well. The sun has been warm enough to start melting the piles of snow that have buried us all winter long. Our creek broke on the first day of spring too which was kind of fitting! Usually we are mocking the "first day of spring" because it's always cold and snowing.

It's actually kind of cold right now but it has been above zero for the last week or more -- that darn wind!

The last couple of weeks I have been really thinking about my future and what I want to do and ultimately what is holding me back. And I'm excited and scared about what all of it means, and I am so grateful for this year that has given me a chance to pause and transition into the person that I need to make that first leap.

And I was reading last nite Ephesians 3:14-21, but specifically I read verse 16 over and over, "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen [me] with power through his Spirit in [my] inner being..." and I do. I pray that I may be strengthened to face whatever is ahead, for whatever is my future, for whatever I dream.

It goes on to say in verse 20 and 21, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine...

Everything that I dream for my life is too small for what he has planned for it, because I cannot even imagine what he has planned. When we think big -- he thinks even BIGGER.

And I pray that he may strengthen me to be able to live all of it out -- and I am so excited!

And I am so scared.


if you're bolder than the darkness

I think the scariest part is not even the idea of leaving. 

I think the scariest part is that nothing will ever be the same...again.

It's that when I come back it will be different. Not because things have changed overly much. I live in a town that has housed the same type of people for decades. It's not going to change just because I've left.

No, it's because I will have changed. 

The things that once upon a time was my normal, will be somehow alien. 

It will be a place of haunted memories. Good memories, but haunting just the same.

Its that I will long for the things to be as they were before but know in my heart that it never will be. That I'll know in my heart that I've changed too much for it to ever be the same, regardless. 

And I think that is the scariest part. 

It's that when I leave, this will never be my room again. This will never be a home that housed six of us. This will never be the place that I come to, after a long day, and lay my head. This will never be mine, 

because it slipped out of my fingers as I walked away to chase my dreams.

It will always be a home, but never our home. It will always be ours, but not ours to keep. It will always be there, but no longer a sanctuary. 

And I think that is the scariest part. 

It's that when we are all gone we will never be able to recreate what was. We will never be able to live as we did before. 

Time and experience will have made us different, able to long and appreciate the times we had, but never the same. 

It will be out of our reach. 

It will be too late to turn back.

And I think that is the scariest part.


The Terrible Two's

This is the second anniversary of my blog, I wrote my very first post on this very same day in 2012.

In someways it feels like I have been blogging for at least 4 yrs and in others it feels like I just started. I remember mulling over having my blog, what I would name it, what content would be on it, how it would look like etc. months before I actually had the courage to ask if I could make one.

It seems so silly now, I was somehow afraid to ask for this little space on the internet, despite the fact that my mom had had a blog for a couple years before this. When I finally did, we took care to make this as permanent a space as we could. Having my URL be my first and middle name respectively took into account that I may not have the name "BLUSH by a Lady" forever -- it left room to grow and change. Also not including my last name might have been wishful thinking, that I might continue this until I am married or simply that I may ever get married! 

I know I had a list of words that I liked the sound of and reflected my personality at that time, including, Peony, Blush, Petal and by a Lady. The first three I just thought of and the fourth I came across as I was flipping through the pages of Pride and Prejudice -- as you do -- and kind-of rediscovered the fact that she wrote under the pseudonym, By a Lady. It struck a cord with me and I decided to pair Blush with the sort-of-subtitle by a Lady added to it. 

This space has given me a place to somehow share and put into words what I am feeling, doing or making. It's definitely given me a chance to exercise my writing "muscles" and keep me on-top-of-my-game so to speak. 

It's also given me a chance to explore new avenues that I might never have picked up, like photography or videography. 

I've discovered so many amazing writers and fashionistas and DIYers through my journey on this blog. I started out by bookmarking perhaps five or so blogs, including people webs, and Anne Catherine Frey, to following dozens of bloggers that inspire me creatively as well as in life. 

I know I will forever hold a debt to this place that I call my own, it's helped my grow into the person that I am today and given me a chance to express myself because I never was good at expressing myself verbally. 

On another note, I made shortbread the other day. I love shortbread. It is the perfect cookie, both subtly sweet and buttery, melting-in-your-mouth delicious. Sometimes you just get a craving for the simplicity of a good English Shortbread and a cup of tea. The cookie cutter used to make these diamond shaped lovelies was my great-grandma's on my mother's side -- Nanny. 

I used the recipe found in my Butter recipe book given to me by my Auntie Amy. It really is the cutest little book and the most fairytale-esque story of the beginnings of a very humble and homemade independent bakery in Vancouver. 


I hope that this next year for my blog I will reach new heights in my writing, I will grow and it will grow with me, and I will stay true to myself and perhaps most of all that it won't be quite so terrible ;) Here's to another year!

Happy 2nd Birthday BLUSH by a Lady! xoxo


A photo an hour...


9:00 a.m. Breakfast. Tea and rusks.


10:00 a.m. Writing.

elevenoclock elevenoclock2

11:00 a.m. French Bread.


12:00 p.m. Getting ready for the rest of the day.


1:00 p.m. Lunch. Homemade corn chowder.


2:00 p.m. Waiting...


3:00p.m. Christies Greenhouse with my mom while she made some more bouquets. 


4:00 p.m. Coming home to this!


5:00 p.m. Attempting a cleanout...

6:00 p.m. Supper...with tea of course.


9:00 p.m. Sherlock Holmes.


10:30 p.m. Bedtime. Wake-up, 5:00 a.m. for the gold medal game!