Pinterest Inspiration // 12

1. @babeskills 2. Mark Appleton 3. Habitually Chic 4. @andicsinger 5. @lucidlines 6. Unknown

To say that this semester has been hard would be an understatement. 

Both personally and school-wise I do not think that I have ever been so drained. I am eternally grateful for friends that make it somehow more bearable.

There's something magical about this time of year in the city that makes my heart sing a little. The lights, the music, the hustle and bustle, gift-giving and decorations, it all just feels a little like a movie. But I have always been a romantic that way. 

I'm doing my best to try to soak all of it in, usually in-between study sessions and grocery runs (so romantic). 

I've been struggling with the notion of home lately. I think it is something that I have continually struggled with over my uni career, but it just seems as if some of the dynamics have shifted since then. It's not that unusual. Things change over time and I knew that. I guess I just thought they would change more on my own terms. But that's not really how things work is it?

I read a quote the other day that basically said, "we don't write to be understood, we write to understand" and I couldn't help but think that that perfectly sums up the feeling I get... It's somewhere in-between a tightening in my chest a sort of panicky restless feeling that only really goes away when I both feel like I understand what's been happening inside my head and when I feel like I've sufficiently wrote enough to be understood. But first and foremost it's for my own understanding. 

So if home is where the heart is I think I might be a little doomed. I don't know where my heart is half the time. It flickers back and forth between old and new, familiar and day-to-day, and I'm not sure if that makes me lost or just a wanderer. 

A wayfarer. 

It sounds romantic...I can assure you it's not all the time. 

It's exciting. It's displaced. It's comfortable and uncomfortable. It's content and unsatisfying. It's all these things separately and somehow all at once. 

What I do know is that this year has pretty much hit me with all that its got and I feel a little beaten down and a little exhausted and I'm not sure how much more I can take before things start to take a bitter turn as they are want to do. I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel here somewhere. Christmas break is near. But I'm starting to taste a bit of it's familiar acidity on my tongue. I'm trying to ignore it as best as I can and keep my head up. Mind over matter, you know? 

With that said here is a bit of inspiration for you, and me:

1. Hell yeah.
2. Doesn't London at Christmastime just sound wonderful to you?
3. The first snow.
4. I wish I could fill up my wrists with dainty bracelets, some pretty not-the-week-after-finals nails would be nice too.
5. Elegant? Dainty? Yes. Timeless? I don't know...I think I'd like to find out though.
6. Always a good idea.


I'm sitting here in a busy coffee shop reading about hyphens in The Copyeditor's Handbook and I realized ... I don't give a shit about hyphen's. Seems obvious, but if you knew how many exceptions and rules and preferences were bundled up in the use of a single small line I think you would understand. It might be bit of a surprise then that I am crap at grammar.  It frustrates me endlessly and is somehow -- however obvious -- a required or at least a preferable attribute for someone in the business of writing. And ironically it's made me write less as a result. 

Except right now as the author argues his case on compound adverbs and the different meaning between "too readily" and "too-readily" I realized that despite this insecurity of mine, I would much rather be writing right now then trying to process the plethora of rules in place for a simple line. And not something that will sit in my computers "Writing" folder that only ever gets seen by maybe two pairs of eyes, but something that I can publish on my little corner of the Internet. A corner that much to my dismay has been neglected for far too long. 

So hello again ... it's nice to see you. 

You're looking good. 

What have you been up to?

I have been -- besides sucking at grammar -- falling deeper and deeper in love with my program. 
The future is exciting. I can't wait to see what it holds for me. I've been thinking for awhile that if I'm ever going to make it I'm going to have to start practicing what I preach. And put in practice what I learn, although to be honest it's all been theory based thus far, but I guess I don't want it to be too late to start. 

So I guess here is me starting again. 

I don't know where that's going to take me. When I first started this four-and-a-half years ago I didn't really know what I was doing or who I wanted to be. And yet it's lead me to here and there's nowhere else I'd rather be. 

Let's see where this takes me.

Unfortunately, right now I'm going to have to go back to The Copy Editor's Handbook (clearly I learned nothing in the hyphen chapter or maybe I'm just trying to prove a point ... nah I'm actually just really bad at this) and learn about "... the most common headaches that arise in the area of capitalization."

They're not kidding about the headache. 


be my shelter and I will be your storm

In an ongoing journey of finding yourself, you always suspect there to be an end. That suddenly you will be faced with a version of yourself that is somehow wholly yours and wholly you. I don’t think that that is true, or ever could be. 

I did not think it could ever be possible to grow any more than I did in my first year of university. But I was so very wrong. I had a lot still to learn. 

For one thing I had to learn how to be fully independent and figure things out for myself. Transferring to a new school was not only beneficial program-wise, but an important step in growing. I was for the first time in my life, in a situation where I was completely by myself. And I had to figure things out by myself. And I had to learn a lot of things about that too. 

I had to learn how to be happy. 

That was the hardest lesson of all. I had to learn how to be happy. Not just happy with myself, but happy with everything. It’s true what they say, you know? About treating everything like it is an adventure. Like going to the grocery store to get toilet paper is something worth making into a big deal. Because maybe you couldn’t get yourself out of bed past 12. And maybe you had to make yourself eat something. And maybe that was the only reason for you to get dressed. But it is something. 

Realizing that whether you stay in bed all day miserable or get up and go get toilet paper and be happy, are things that are totally in your control. And I didn’t want to stay in bed all day miserable anymore. Once I learned, at least the beginning, of how to be happy, it was so much easier to find a home and to find my place here. 

And I’ve learned that good and bad things come in waves. 

We have to lean on each other and we have to take turns. If you’ve found your person, like I have, this part becomes a whole lot easier. You learn how to be equally part vulnerable and strong. You learn when to break and when to be supportive. Because they are the only person who can just look at you and really see you. See everything and not want to change anything. See everything and know exactly how you're doing and what to do. 

Somedays they will need you and you will be there. And somedays you will need them, and they will be there for you too. But it’s important never to take them for granted. Because good and bad things come in waves.

And I’ve learned that life happens. 

One of the hardest things is being here and not having time, because life happens. You just have to make good the time that you have. And sometimes things don’t work out and things fall through. But there will be other days. 

And I continue to learn that if I’m bolder than the darkness I will continue to learn how to be more and more independent. And I will continue to learn how to be happy. And I will continue to learn that sometimes you will be someone’s shelter and they will be your storm. And I will continue to learn that sometimes life just happens. 

What I know for sure, though, is that down these roads that wander as lost as our hearts, we’ll find ourselves. It won’t be a means to an end, but a journey of forever finding ourselves. And we will learn.